Helpful guidance

Honest sharing

Let's face it - most of us are dissatisfied with one or more aspects of our lives, and we are unable to create lasting happiness for all kinds of reasons. Let me assure you right at the outset that with honest sharing it is not necessary to look at these reasons, because they will inevitably be mere symbols outside of us for a state that is inside, buried and forgotten in our subconscious.

When we practice honest sharing we are not required to dig up the past, explain why we are unhappy, who wronged us, why we hate certain things or people, what we are afraid of, why we are depressed, and so on. None of that is important. That's one reason why honest sharing does not require years of working on ourselves or psychosomatic digging by health practitioners. On the contrary, it has the potential to facilitate lasting improvement in the very first and each following session.

So what is honest sharing and how and why does it work like magic?

To understand that, we first need to get a very basic idea of how our physical bodies work. When we incarnate as human beings we use mammalian bodies to have an experience of life on Earth. A fundamental aspect of mammals is that we get our sense of safety from contact and interaction with other members of our species. In order to feel good and be healthy it is absolutely mandatory that our bodies feel safe. In very simplified terms, let's just say that safety translates in our body to the ventral part of the vagus nerve being active. In life-threatening situations it shuts down and another part of the nervous system becomes active, which then creates one of four different responses to the threat - fight, flight, or freeze, which are immediate reactions – as well as fawn, which can happen under threatening conditions that last longer and that we cannot escape from.

A natural sequence of events would be to fight and defeat whatever threatens us, flee from the threat, or "play dead" and survive. In any case, the energy our body mobilized in the face of mortal danger must pass through our system and be released. In fight or flight situations this is what happens in due course, and after a freeze response, what could be called shock trauma, it might be released through shaking, crying and other mechanisms.

If this happens, the threat passed and the energy is released, our body then starts to reactivate the ventral vagus and returns to relaxation and a state of safety. If, however, the body does not relax and the energy stays stuck in our system, we remain in a perpetual state of high alert, which over time may be downregulated but is never fully resolved. This is what causes more and more dysfunction and dis-ease on the physical, emotional and mental levels the longer it lasts.

In the case of humans that is, unfortunately, the condition most of us are in right now, and have been since childhood. For a child it is a life-threatening situation if a parent or other caregiver attacks it (fight), leaves it (flight), ignores it (freeze), or manipulates it (fawn). It is very likely that one or more of these traumatic situations occurred repeatedly throughout childhood for all of us. Various problems then developed over time since these childhood traumas were never properly resolved, because our parents, themselves traumatized since childhood, didn’t know how. This self-perpetuating cycle has been going on for untold generations, where each new generation of parents inadvertently traumatized their children, without the traumas ever being resolved.

This resolution would happen if the child were able to communicate to a parent or caregiver what’s going on inside of it in any given situation. It needs to express first and foremost its emotions, but also its thoughts and physical sensations, all in a safe environment to someone the child trusts. Unfortunately, for almost all of us this never happened to the degree that it should have.

That is what honest sharing is all about. We do that which was impossible when we were children. We express what’s going on inside of us at this very moment. What we feel, what we think, and what we sense in our body. The important part is that we do it without being identified with it, because the part that feels and thinks this is the child in us that experienced the trauma, and we are no longer that child. We are grown up, and what was a life-threatening situation for us when we were children is no longer a threat at all. We could go one step further and say we are not even the grown-up but the consciousness in which all of life happens.

Therefore, we are the witness to what happens in us and communicate in a safe environment, to a person that feels safe to us, such as a spouse or good friend, what the child in us was unable to communicate back then. This reestablishes the contact to another member of our species and resolves the traumatic situation that we were stuck in. Where before we had closed down, we now open up, and as the blocked energy passes through our system and is released, our body can finally return to a state of relaxation in safety. The ventral vagus gets reactivated and our whole life changes, literally.

What I offer as a practitioner of honest sharing is this safe environment, the partner who listens to what must be told and heard, and the experience of how to share without being identified with the traumatized part.

This work is elementary to healing. Anything else that is done, including everything that can be done alone, is a bonus. Meditation, yoga, chi gong, breathwork, energy work, somatic experiencing, mindfulness, you name it. All that can be done on top of honest sharing but none of these practices can replace it, because they lack the fundamental element of establishing a deep and safe contact with another human being. For members of a mammalian species that is vital. If we do not have that, we inevitably become sick, unless we are fully enlightened and have transcended the human condition entirely. What do you think is the faster and easier scenario to reach a fulfilled life - that you can reestablish a safe connection with a fellow human, or become an enlightened, transcendent being by separating yourself, avoiding real contact, and doing all the work alone?

Honest sharing is done in 1 hour Zoom sessions. In the first part I explain to you how honest sharing must be done to get results. In the next part you share with me what is inside of you at that very moment. That is all I need to know. No past, no future, no fears, no grievances, no problems, no excuses. Just the emotions, thoughts and physical sensations that want to be shared in that very moment. This will open up more and more of the closed doors inside your mind and allow us to go deeper and deeper, resolving more and more unconscious issues and getting access to the life energy that was bound up in suppressed anger, hate, sadness and the resulting inhibitions and impotence/powerlessness. In part three we can talk about what has come up if you feel the need to do so.

If you buy an honest sharing session I will contact you by email and we set up a date for the Zoom call. In case you don't feel comfortable with video calls, the first session(s) can be done in written format until you feel safe enough to do video calls. Note that the written format is not really considered honest sharing and only meant to help with establishing the safety in our interaction that will later allow you to do video calls. Should you need to change the date or time of a video call this must be communicated at least three days beforehand, otherwise it cannot be changed anymore. If you do not show up to a confirmed video call a refund will not be possible.

Complementary coaching

All coaching is complementary to honest sharing. It CANNOT replace it. Nothing can. Whereas honest sharing is done live via Zoom, the coaching is done in a question-and-answer format and meant to help you after you have started to heal through honest sharing. My goal is to give detailed answers to your questions. What you have written will be thoroughly evaluated, and then whatever information is given by the universal guidance will be written down and sent to you. Throughout this process my body is used as an open channel by higher intelligence. There are no ready-made answers, repetitive thoughts or a specific belief system. All information given will be unique to you, to be of the most help no matter what situation you may find yourself in.

Please note that answers can only ever be as good as the questions. So if you are looking for advice, make sure to formulate your questions carefully and deliberately to get the most out of the answers.

Life guidance

This includes helpful information about relationships, dating, social interaction, personal development and other aspects of life. What must be understood is that the most useful information comes when we heal ourselves through honest sharing. We come across the right information at the right time and our behaviour will have the most beneficial outomes. The best part is that it will all feel totally natural. None of it will be forced or feel strange, as if we try to overcome obstacles, because we respect our personal boundaries and share only that which we are ready to share in any given moment.

To give you an example that many guys can relate to: For most men, especially those of us who are the autonomy-type, cold-approaching women is near impossible. We are afraid of rejection or humiliation and our mind finds all sorts of excuses why we shouldn't do it. This is all due to unresolved childhood trauma. Our bodies simply feel insecure in and threatened by a situation in which we want to reach out to a woman to establish contact, because as children we had one or more traumatic experiences when we reached out to our mother, which remain unresolved to this day. Therefore, to our bodies such a situation means danger, and our mind consequently comes up with excuses why we shouldn't enter it at all, or we do but then cannot help but want to get out of it again quickly. We start to sweat, talk too fast, look anywhere but the woman we approached, stumble when asking for a simple phone number, forget what we wanted to say, you name it. The classic fight, flight or freeze responses. And if we are the merging type, we may actually be able to approach with relative confidence but from the outset our (subconscious) goal will be to manipulate the women into getting what we want/need.

There are two ways to resolve this. One is to practice honest sharing with somebody we trust, thereby reestablishing a general sense of safety in social interactions no matter who we talk to. This is by far the easier, faster and more natural way. The other is to cold-approach women again and again, accepting the anxiety and all the problems and possible rejections that come with it, until it comes naturally to us. What happens here is that with each approach our body learns that nothing bad happens if we do it. Even if we get rejected a hundred times out of a hundred, we didn't die and we were not hurt physically (unless we behaved very inappropriately), and that is all our body cares about.

The more we establish a sense of being safe and secure in social interactions, the easier it becomes to interact socially, and the more and more positive people respond to us when we talk to them. Why is that? Because this sense of safety and security radiates outward and creates the same feelings in others. As mammals, we all want to feel safe, and deep down we all want to interact socially. Therefore, once we feel safe in social interactions people will feel drawn to us because they subconsciously sense that we can fulfill these primal needs for safety and interaction. At that point, we may have already realized that we no longer have the same wants and needs that we had before, and therefore no longer try to manipulate others into fulfilling them. We moved from wanting to having, from needing to giving, because all we ever really needed was that safe connection to others to let the universal energy flow through us unhindered. This not only changes all our social interactions but everything in our life, including seemingly unrelated things like our finances.

Dietary advice

While it is not mandatory, it might be helpful to read my book “Fat – Chance to heal?” before you send your questions, because the advice given may be referring to information from this book. It is not a must, however, as certain core concepts can be explained as part of the answers.

Vibration builds the groundwork for all processes that happen in our body and in our life. Therefore, knowing how to influence our vibration through dietary or lifestyle changes can help to reverse a process that moves in an unwanted direction (e.g. gaining weight).

Needless to add that the activity of the ventral vagus nerve plays a key role in our body, so all this information may help, but to resolve the underlying issue of the body's state of chronic stress it is highly recommended to also practice honest sharing.

Healthcare advice

This section offers recommendations if you suffer from any kind of physical, emotional or mental health condition, and want to make adjustments to your lifestyle or thought processes to help your body and mind to heal. Understand that you cannot heal the physical body without also addressing any mental issues that may be your blind spot, but can be quite obvious to someone else, such as an experienced healthcare practitioner or a coach. If any disease appears in the physical body, there's always an underlying mental and emotional condition that has as its root a detrimental belief from childhood about how others will react to you in a social interaction - that they will attack you, leave you, ignore you, or manipulate you. This is what honest sharing resolves.

Please note

Since I am not a doctor or licensed healthcare practitioner, the help and information I provide should be seen as the advice from a good friend - nothing more and nothing less. It can be spot on, but cannot replace the educated evaluation of a healthcare professional. Before you can purchase a package you will be asked to confirm that you have understood this, and that if you follow my advice it will be at your own risk.

Life & spiritual coaching

This is just what you would expect it to be, and maybe a bit more. If you have problems in your life or relationships, or feel a little stuck in your spiritual development, it may be possible to give you a nudge in the right direction. Often, all that is necessary is the right word at the right moment, or being shown another way to look at things. A tiny change can have far-reaching consequences down the line. All we may have to do to live a dream instead of suffering a nightmare is allow ourselves to view life from a different perspective, make some small changes, or do certain things a little bit differently.

What you are looking for is already here, whatever it may be. You just won't see it as long as you keep looking the wrong way. In my own case, what was found after 15+ years of spiritual development ended up being totally different from what had been envisioned initially. So this is the first bit of advice: Never limit yourself to what your mind can conceive of as a happy and fulfilled life. You would prevent yourself from experiencing so much more.

Package costs

1 question + 1 feedback message: 50 Euro

3 questions + 1 feedback message: 140 Euro

6 questions + 1 feedback message: 260 Euro

10 questions + 1 feedback message: 400 Euro

Note that if you buy the 1 question package but ask several questions, only the first question in your message may be answered, or the first described condition may be addressed!

If you have several different and potentially unrelated health conditions, be they of physical, emotional or mental nature, it is recommended to buy a larger package to get the most out of it. The same goes for deep, personal or spiritual transformation. This will allow us to have a sort of dialog that can stretch over days, or even weeks and months, during which you get help and guidance to deal with new developments as they come up. All throughout this process we will go at your own pace, so there is absolutely no pressure to get things done.

With a 10 questions package, for example, you will be able to send 10 messages with one question each + one feedback message, and ask for help with 10 specific issues regarding your diet, health, life, or spiritual progress. So if your goal is to totally change in less than a year, you can send one new question every month, and it can always address the most pressing of your concerns, which could be something that in the beginning you didn't even think of.

Money back guarantee

If your question cannot be answered, for whatever reason, you will get to ask another one, or claim your money back, if you prefer that. If you bought a larger package, asked several questions, and one or more of them could not be answered, you will get to ask more questions, or you can claim a refund for the unanswered questions.